The majority of men who attend church today are not operating in the fullness of who they are called to be in the Lord.  They are not hearing the Lord direct them every day, are not praying for people, seeing them get healed and are not providing prophetic words to people who need them to take them into their destiny in Christ.

Most are simply going through the motions talking about surface issues: weather, stock market, the economy or sports.  Some may get together at men’s events at church or “men summits” and then play games like cornhole, carpetball, horseshoes, Frisbee, basketball, football or perhaps go fishing and have campfires and bond.  I know because I have been to many of them at several churches.  Unfortunately, many complain about having over-controlling and manipulative wives who do not allow them to try to lead their families or enjoy their lives (and of course many of the men are not equipped to lead spiritually to begin with).  I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs to men to “wake up!” and get with the program and become who Christ called them to be – healthy spiritual leaders!

Many of these men (not all) marry women who take the lead spiritually because they are not doing what they are called to do because they never saw their father model it. Then many of their wives become accustomed to telling them what to do.  The men are usually nice guys who love the Lord, but many are married (not all) to women who were hurt through having either no father involvement in their lives due to busy work schedules or fathers that were rejecting, controlling, harsh and some even abusive to them.  Thus, their wives have hearts that were hurt and they learned they could not trust their father which causes them to have to control all their circumstances out of fear. This causes them to be angry with their future husbands and take out all their pain on the ones that love them most.  So then they cannot trust any other man; so ultimately many (not all) partner with a spirit called Jezebel which tells them they need to control everything at an extreme level out of fear or else it will not get done right.  They tend to control their husbands excessively, not trusting him to lead or make key decisions for their family, and thus he feels even more beaten down and ultimately emasculated.

These women also tend to strive for key positions in the church and ministries so that they are looked up to by all and thus battle to get into a position where they can make decisions over other people and where people will pat them on the back.  Thus the church and ministries often times have women who take over leading because other men have relinquished the responsibility that the Lord called them into.  Understand I am not saying that all women who are leading in the church or ministry have the Jezebel spirit because most do not and are truly honest, pure, godly, amazing women of God who desperately want to bring as many into the Kingdom as possible.  So you need to discern in the Spirit as to those with the Jezebel spirit as they will tend to gravitate to people of high position in the church or ministries and try to become good friends with them so they can manipulate in order to obtain control and power.

There just seems to be something not pure about them that is sometimes hard to put a finger on exactly what is going on.  Jezebel also often uses her sexuality to her advantage with men to make them feel good by touching their arms or resting their hands on their shoulders or arms when talking to them or asking to pray for them and touching them.  Men can also operate in the Jezebel spirit if they had fathers who were excessively harsh and controlling.  Many are pastors who will not allow people to utilize their giftings for fear of losing control and only trust a select few in their inner circle. You can learn much more about the Jezebel spirit by reading my book Restored to Freedom which has helped thousands of people gain freedom from the spirits of Jezebel and Leviathan and released them to behave in a pure and righteous manner both before the Lord and behind closed doors, saving their marriages.  The Lord told me that the Jezebel spirit is the number one spirit that causes divorce as well as church splits in the world.

So when a woman is operating under the Jezebel spirit and controlling a man in excessive ways year after year, it takes a heavy toll on their relationship.  Most times it will cause them to ultimately meet with a counselor at their church or elsewhere and unfortunately if the counselor does not know how to spot the Jezebel spirit (which 95% do not) nor has a clue about it, then it is a waste of money and time on everyone’s part (although the counselor may get paid).  What will happen is that the woman will look and act innocent and pure before the counselor, and she will bring up some good points that her husband needs to work on but when they go back home behind closed doors she will return to her either subtle or extreme controlling ways.  Keep in mind that I have also worked with men who have the Jezebel spirit and they do the exact same thing because it is the same spirit within them; and their tactics are all the same.

So if the wife has Jezebel, then her husband will feel like he is going crazy because he will see that the striving starts when she speaks words that hurt him over and over and he can no longer stay silent so feels he must retaliate. That spirit will cause division between the husband and wife and normally separation will happen and ultimately divorce.  Jezebel is the nastiest spirit on earth and causes so much heartache in couples and along with the Leviathan spirit (which is prideful, twists things and blames instead of taking responsibility) is so very challenging to be freed from until the person is finally made aware that they are hosting them. It is possible that they could still deny they are affected by the spirits for months or longer until their lives become worse and they finally want total deliverance.